How to Stop Worrying

How to Stop Worrying

Self-Help Strategies for Anxiety Relief

Worrying can be helpful when it spurs you to take action and solve a problem. But if you’re preoccupied with “what ifs” and worst-case scenarios, worry becomes a problem. Unrelenting doubts and fears can be paralyzing. They can sap your emotional energy, send your anxiety levels soaring, and interfere with your daily life. But chronic worrying is a mental habit that can be broken. You can train your brain to stay calm and look at life from a more positive perspective.

Why is it so hard to stop worrying?

Constant worrying takes a heavy toll. It keeps you up at night and makes you tense and edgy during the day. You hate feeling like a nervous wreck. So why is it so difficult to stop worrying?
For most chronic worriers, the anxious thoughts are fueled by the beliefs—both negative and positive—they hold about worrying.
On the negative side, you may believe that your constant worrying is harmful, that it’s going to drive you crazy or affect your physical health. Or you may worry that you’re going to lose all control over your worrying—that it will take over and never stop.
On the positive side, you may believe that your worrying helps you avoid bad things, prevents problems, prepares you for the worst, or leads to solutions.
Negative beliefs, or worrying about worrying, add to your anxiety and keep worry going. But positive beliefs about worrying can be just as damaging. It’s tough to break the worry habit if you believe that your worrying protects you. In order to stop worry and anxiety for good, you must give up your belief that worrying serves a positive purpose. Once you realize that worrying is the problem, not the solution, you can regain control of your worried mind.

Why you keep worrying

You have mixed feelings about your worries. On one hand, your worries are bothering you—you can't sleep, and you can't get these pessimistic thoughts out of your head. But there is a way that these worries make sense to you. For example, you think:

• Maybe I'll find a solution.
• I don't want to overlook anything.
• If I keep thinking a little longer, maybe I'll figure it out.
• I don't want to be surprised.
• I want to be responsible.

You have a hard time giving up on your worries because, in a sense, your worries have been working for you.
Source: The Worry Cure: Seven Steps to Stop Worry from Stopping You by Robert L. Leahy, Ph.D.

Worry and anxiety self-help tip #1: Create a worry period

It’s tough to be productive in your daily life when anxiety and worry are dominating your thoughts. But what can you do? If you’re like many chronic worriers, your anxious thoughts feel uncontrollable. You’ve tried lots of things, from distracting yourself, reasoning with your worries, and trying to think positive, but nothing seems to work.

Why trying to stop anxious thoughts doesn’t work

Telling yourself to stop worrying doesn’t work—at least not for long. You can distract yourself or suppress anxious thoughts for a moment, but you can’t banish them for good. In fact, trying to do so often makes them stronger and more persistent.
You can test this out for yourself. Close your eyes and picture a pink elephant. Once you can see the pink elephant in your mind, stop thinking about it. Whatever you do, for the next five minutes, don’t think about pink elephants!
How did you do? Did thoughts of pink elephants keep popping in your brain?
“Thought stopping” backfires because it forces you to pay extra attention to the very thought you want to avoid. You always have to be watching for it, and this very emphasis makes it seem even more important.
But that doesn’t mean there’s nothing you can do to control your worry. You just need to try a different approach. This is where the strategy of postponing worrying comes in. Rather than trying to stop or get rid of an anxious thought, give yourself permission to have it, but put off thinking any more about it until later.

Learn to postpone worrying

1. Create a “worry period.” Choose a set time and place for worrying. It should be the same every day (e.g. in the living room from 5:00 to 5:20 p.m.) and early enough that it won’t make you anxious right before bedtime. During your worry period, you’re allowed to worry about whatever’s on your mind. The rest of the day, however, is a worry-free zone.
2. Postpone your worry. If an anxious thought or worry comes into your head during the day, make a brief note of it on paper and postpone it to your worry period. Remind yourself that you’ll have time to think about it later, so there’s no need to worry about it right now. Save it for later and continue to go about your day.
3. Go over your “worry list” during the worry period. Reflect on the worries you wrote down during the day. If the thoughts are still bothering you, allow yourself to worry about them, but only for the amount of time you’ve specified for your worry period. If the worries don’t seem important any more, cut your worry period short and enjoy the rest of your day.

Postponing worrying is effective because it breaks the habit of dwelling on worries in the present moment. Yet there’s no struggle to suppress the thought or judge it. You simply save it for later. As you develop the ability to postpone your anxious thoughts, you’ll start to realize that you have more control over your worrying than you think.

Worry and anxiety self-help tip #2: Ask yourself if the problem is solvable

Research shows that while you’re worrying, you temporarily feel less anxious. Running over the problem in your head distracts you from your emotions and makes you feel like you’re getting something accomplished. But worrying and problem solving are two very different things.
Problem solving involves evaluating a situation, coming up with concrete steps for dealing with it, and then putting the plan into action. Worrying, on the other hand, rarely leads to solutions. No matter how much time you spend dwelling on worst-case scenarios, you’re no more prepared to deal with them should they actually happen.

Distinguish between solvable and unsolvable worries

If a worry pops into your head, start by asking yourself whether the problem is something you can actually solve. The following questions can help:

• Is the problem something you’re currently facing, rather than an imaginary what-if?
• If the problem is an imaginary what-if, how likely is it to happen? Is your concern realistic?
• Can you do something about the problem or prepare for it, or is it out of your control?

Productive, solvable worries are those you can take action on right away. For example, if you’re worried about your bills, you could call your creditors to see about flexible payment options. Unproductive, unsolvable worries are those for which there is no corresponding action. “What if I get cancer someday?” or “What if my kid gets into an accident?”
If the worry is solvable, start brainstorming. Make a list of all the possible solutions you can think of. Try not to get too hung up on finding the perfect solution. Focus on the things you have the power to change, rather than the circumstances or realities beyond your control. After you’ve evaluated your options, make a plan of action. Once you have a plan and start doing something about the problem, you’ll feel much less worried.

Dealing with unsolvable worries

But what if the worry isn’t something you can solve? If you’re a chronic worrier, the vast majority of your anxious thoughts probably fall in this camp. In such cases, it’s important to tune into your emotions.
As previously mentioned, worrying helps you avoid unpleasant emotions. Worrying keeps you in your head, thinking about how to solve problems rather than allowing yourself to feel the underlying emotions. But you can’t worry your emotions away. While you’re worrying, your feelings are temporarily suppressed, but as soon as you stop, the tension and anxiety bounces back. And then, you start worrying about your feelings, “What’s wrong with me? I shouldn’t feel this way!”
The only way out of this vicious cycle is by learning to embrace your feelings. This may seem scary at first because of negative beliefs you have about emotions. For example, you may believe that you should always be rational and in control, that your feelings should always make sense, or that you shouldn’t feel certain emotions, such as fear or anger.
The truth is that emotions—like life—are messy. They don’t always make sense and they’re not always pleasant. But as long as you can accept your feelings as part of being human, you’ll be able to experience them without becoming overwhelmed and learn how to use them to your advantage. The following tips will help you find a better balance between your intellect and your emotions.

Worry and anxiety self-help tip #3: Accept uncertainty

The inability to tolerate uncertainty plays a huge role in anxiety and worry. Chronic worriers can’t stand doubt or unpredictability. They need to know with 100 percent certainty what’s going to happen. Worrying is seen as a way to predict what the future has in store—a way to prevent unpleasant surprises and control the outcome. The problem is, it doesn’t work.
Thinking about all the things that could go wrong doesn’t make life any more predictable. You may feel safer when you’re worrying, but it’s just an illusion. Focusing on worst-case scenarios won’t keep bad things from happening. It will only keep you from enjoying the good things you have in the present. So if you want to stop worrying, start by tackling your need for certainty and immediate answers.

Challenging intolerance of uncertainty: The key to anxiety relief

Ask yourself the following questions and write down your responses. See if you can come to an understanding of the disadvantages and problems of being intolerant of uncertainty.

• Is it possible to be certain about everything in life?
• What are the advantages of requiring certainty, versus the disadvantages? Or, how is needing certainty in life helpful and unhelpful?
• Do you tend to predict bad things will happen just because they are uncertain? Is this a reasonable thing to do? What is the likelihood of positive or neutral outcomes?
• Is it possible to live with the small chance that something negative may happen, given its likelihood is very low?

Adapted from: Accepting Uncertainty, Centre for Clinical Interventions

Worry and anxiety self-help tip #4: Challenge anxious thoughts

If you suffer from chronic anxiety and worries, chances are you look at the world in ways that make it seem more dangerous than it really is. For example, you may overestimate the possibility that things will turn out badly, jump immediately to worst-case scenarios, or treat every negative thought as if it were fact. You may also discredit your own ability to handle life’s problems, assuming you’ll fall apart at the first sign of trouble. These irrational, pessimistic attitudes are known as cognitive distortions.
Although cognitive distortions aren’t based on reality, they’re not easy to give up. Often, they’re part of a lifelong pattern of thinking that’s become so automatic you’re not even completely aware of it. In order to break these bad thinking habits and stop the worry and anxiety they bring, you must retrain your brain.
Start by identifying the frightening thought, being as detailed as possible about what scares or worries you. Then, instead of viewing your thoughts as facts, treat them as hypotheses you’re testing out. As you examine and challenge your worries and fears, you’ll develop a more balanced perspective.

Stop worrying by questioning the worried thought

• What’s the evidence that the thought is true? That it’s not true?
• Is there a more positive, realistic way of looking at the situation?
• What’s the probability that what I’m scared of will actually happen?
• If the probability is low, what are some more likely outcomes?
• Is the thought helpful? How will worrying about it help me and how will it hurt me?
• What would I say to a friend who had this worry?

Cognitive Distortions that Add to Anxiety, Worry, and Stress
All-or-nothing thinking – Looking at things in black-or-white categories, with no middle ground. “If I fall short of perfection, I’m a total failure.”
Overgeneralization – Generalizing from a single negative experience, expecting it to hold true forever. “I didn’t get hired for the job. I’ll never get any job.”
The mental filter – Focusing on the negatives while filtering out all the positives. Noticing the one thing that went wrong, rather than all the things that went right.
Diminishing the positive – Coming up with reasons why positive events don’t count. “I did well on the presentation, but that was just dumb luck.”
Jumping to conclusions – Making negative interpretations without actual evidence. You act like a mind reader, “I can tell she secretly hates me.” Or a fortune teller, “I just know something terrible is going to happen.”
Catastrophizing – Expecting the worst-case scenario to happen. “The pilot said we’re in for some turbulence. The plane’s going to crash!”
Emotional reasoning – Believing that the way you feel reflects reality. “I feel frightened right now. That must mean I’m in real physical danger.”
'Shoulds’ and ‘should-nots’ – Holding yourself to a strict list of what you should and shouldn’t do and beating yourself up if you break any of the rules
Labeling – Labeling yourself based on mistakes and perceived shortcomings. “I’m a failure; an idiot; a loser.”
Personalization – Assuming responsibility for things that are outside your control. “It’s my fault my son got in an accident. I should have warned him to drive carefully in the rain.”

Worry and anxiety self-help tip # 5: Be aware of how others affect you

How you feel is affected by the company you keep, whether you’re aware of it or not. Studies show that emotions are contagious. We quickly “catch” moods from other people—even from strangers who never speak a word (e.g. the terrified woman sitting by you on the plane; the fuming man in the checkout line). The people you spend a lot of time with have an even greater impact on your mental state.

• Keep a worry diary. You may not be aware of how people or situations are affecting you. Maybe this is the way it’s always been in your family, or you’ve been dealing with the stress so long that it feels normal. You may want to keep a worry diary for a week or so. Every time you start to worry, jot down the thought and what triggered it. Over time, you’ll start to see patterns.
• Spend less time with people who make you anxious. Is there someone in your life who drags you down or always seems to leave you feeling stressed? Think about cutting back on the time you spend with that person or establish healthier relationship boundaries. For example, you might set certain topics off-limits, if you know that talking about them with that person makes you anxious.
• Choose your confidantes carefully. Know who to talk to about situations that make you anxious. Some people will help you gain perspective, while others will feed into your worries, doubts, and fears.

Worry and anxiety self-help tip #6: Practice mindfulness

Worrying is usually focused on the future—on what might happen and what you’ll do about it. The centuries-old practice of mindfulness can help you break free of your worries by bringing your attention back to the present. In contrast to the previous techniques of challenging your anxious thoughts or postponing them to a worry period, this strategy is based on observing and then letting them go. Together, they can help you identify where your thinking is causing problems, while helping you get in touch with your emotions.

• Acknowledge and observe your anxious thoughts and feelings. Don’t try to ignore, fight, or control them like you usually would. Instead, simply observe them as if from an outsider’s perspective, without reacting or judging.
• Let your worries go. Notice that when you don’t try to control the anxious thoughts that pop up, they soon pass, like clouds moving across the sky. It’s only when you engage your worries that you get stuck.
• Stay focused on the present. Pay attention to the way your body feels, the rhythm of your breathing, your ever-changing emotions, and the thoughts that drift across your mind. If you find yourself getting stuck on a particular thought, bring your attention back to the present moment.

Using mindfulness meditation to stay focused on the present is a simple concept, but it takes practice to reap the benefits. At first, you’ll probably find that your mind keeps wandering back to your worries. Try not to get frustrated. Each time you draw your focus back to the present, you’re reinforcing a new mental habit that will help you break free of the negative worry cycle.

More help to stop worrying

FEELING LOVED

The Science of Nurturing Meaningful Connections and Building Lasting Happiness

Does stress and worry contribute to your anxiety? Dr. Jeanne Segal's engaging and practical new book can help you make life improving changes.LEARN MORE »

• Stress Management: How to Reduce, Prevent, and Cope with Stress
• How to Sleep Better: Tips for Getting a Good Night’s Sleep
• How to Start a Walking Program: Tips to Get You Walking Anywhere
• Benefits of Mindfulness: Practices for Improving Emotional and Physical Well-Being

Anxiety treatment

• Therapy for Anxiety Disorders: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Exposure Therapy, and Other Options
• Anxiety Medication: What You Need to Know About Anti-Anxiety Drugs
• Cultivating Happiness: Five Tips to Get More Satisfaction and Joy Out of Life

Types of anxiety disorders

• Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD): Symptoms, Treatment, and Self-Help
• Panic Attacks and Panic Disorder: Symptoms, Causes, and Treatment
• Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD): Symptoms and Treatment of Compulsive Behavior and Obsessive Thoughts
• Phobias and Fears: Symptoms, Treatment, and Self-Help for Phobias and Fears
• Social Anxiety Disorder and Social Phobia: Symptoms, Self-Help, and Treatment

Resources and references

Self-help for anxiety and worry

Fighting Life's "What Ifs" – Answers to why we worry and what we can do to combat pessimistic predictions, relieve anxiety, and stop chronic worrying. (Psychology Today)
Download Meditations – Download or stream a dozen free meditation recordings to help you cope with life's inevitable hurdles. Comes with handouts. (Sitting Together)
Excerpt of "The Worry Cure" – Excerpt of The Worry Cure: Seven Steps to Stop Worry from Stopping You, a book by psychologist Robert L. Leahy. (CBS News)
What? Me Worry!?! – Self-help course with 11 sequential modules or workbooks that teach you how to stop worrying and get anxiety relief. (Centre for Clinical Interventions, Department of Health, Government of Western Australia)

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Weight Problems and Obesity in Children

Weight Problems and Obesity in Children

Helping Your Child Reach and Maintain a Healthy Weight

The number of children who are obese or overweight is growing at an alarming rate. Extra pounds put kids at risk of serious health problems, including diabetes, heart disease, and asthma. Childhood obesity also takes an emotional toll. Overweight children are frequently teased and excluded from team activities, which can lead to low self-esteem, negative body image, and depression. However, with the right support, encouragement, and positive role modeling, you can help your child reach and maintain a healthy weight.

Diagnosing weight problems and obesity in children

Overweight and obese children are at a greater risk of developing serious health problems such as:

type 2 diabetes high blood pressure high cholesterol bone and joint problems

asthma restless or disordered sleep patterns liver and gall bladder disease depression and low self-esteem

Kids who are unhappy with their weight may also be more likely to develop eating disorders and substance abuse problems. Diagnosing and treating weight problems and obesity in children as early as possible may reduce the risk of developing these and other serious medical conditions as they get older. Whatever your children’s weight, though, let them know that you love them and that all you want to do is help them be healthy and happy.

Is your child overweight?

Children grow at different rates at different times, so it is not always easy to tell if a child is overweight. Body mass index (BMI) uses height and weight measurements to estimate how much body fat a child has, and can be used to screen for weight and obesity problems from the age of 2. However, while BMI is usually a good indicator, it is NOT a perfect measure of body fat and can be misleading in some situations. For example, BMI can be difficult to interpret during puberty when children are experiencing periods of rapid growth.
If your child registers a high BMI-for-age measurement, your health care provider may need to perform further assessments to determine if excess fat is a problem. These assessments may include skinfold thickness measurements, plus evaluations of diet, physical activity, family history, and other appropriate health screenings. The doctor may also decide to screen for some of the medical conditions that can be associated with obesity.

Causes of weight problems and obesity in children

Understanding how children become obese or overweight in the first place is an important step toward breaking the cycle. Most cases of childhood obesity are caused by eating too much and exercising too little. Children need enough food to support healthy growth and development. But when they take in more calories than they burn throughout the day, the result is weight gain.
Many factors contribute to this growing imbalance between calories in and calories out:

• Busy families are cooking less and eating out more.
• Easy access to cheap, high-calorie fast food and junk food.
• Food portions are bigger than they used to be, both in restaurants and at home.
• Kids are consuming a huge amount of sugar in sweetened drinks and hidden in an array of foods.
• Kids spend less time actively playing outside, and more time watching TV, playing video games, and sitting at the computer.
• Many schools are eliminating or cutting back their physical education programs.

Myths and Truths about Weight Problems and Obesity in Children

MYTH: Childhood obesity is genetic, so there’s nothing you can do about it.
TRUTH: While a person’s genes do influence weight, they are only one small part of the equation. Although some children are more prone to gaining weight than others, that doesn’t mean they’re destined for weight problems. Most kids can maintain a healthy weight if they eat right and exercise.
MYTH: Children who are obese or overweight should be put on a diet.
TRUTH: Unless directed by your child’s doctor otherwise, the treatment for childhood obesity is not weight loss. The goal should be to slow or stop weight gain, allowing your child to grow into his or her ideal weight.
MYTH: It’s just baby fat. Children will outgrow the weight.
TRUTH: Childhood obesity doesn’t always lead to obesity in adulthood, but it does raise the risks dramatically. The majority of children who are overweight at any time during the preschool or elementary school are still overweight as they enter their teens. Most kids do not outgrow the problem.

Weight problems and obesity in children tip 1: Get the whole family involved

Healthy habits start at home. The best way to fight or prevent childhood obesity and weight problems is to get the whole family on a healthier track. Making better food choices and becoming more active will benefit everyone, regardless of weight. And with the whole family involved, it will be much easier for your overweight child to make lasting changes.

Leading by example

The most effective way to influence your child is by your own healthy example. If your children see you eating your vegetables, being active, and limiting your TV time, there’s a good chance that they will do the same. These habits will also have the happy side effect of helping you maintain a healthy weight.

• What you eat: Tell your child about the healthy food you are eating, while you are eating it. You might say, “I’m eating broccoli with garlic sauce. Want a bite?”
• When you cook: Cook healthily in front of your children. Better yet, give them an age-appropriate job in the kitchen. Tell them about what you are making and why it’s good for your body.
• How you move: Exercise in some way, every day. Be authentic—do things you enjoy. Tell your kids what you’re doing, and invite them to join you.
• Your free time: Avoid the television or too much computer time. Kids are much less likely to turn screens on if they are off and you are doing something they can get involved in.

Strategies for Real Life

• Recognize that you have more control than you might think. You can turn off the TV, computer, or video game. You can choose to get off the bus one stop earlier than usual and walk the rest of the way, especially when you are with your kids. You can give your family more vegetables for dinner.
• Think about the immediate benefits. If reducing the risk of future heart disease seems abstract, focus on the good things that can happen right now. You won’t feel uncomfortably full if you have a smaller portion or skip dessert. Going hiking with your teenager might lead to a wonderful talk that neither of you anticipated. A fruit salad tastes great and looks beautiful. Dancing or playing with your kids is lots of fun and can give you a great workout.
• Make small, easy changes over time. Suggesting that family members take a run together every day will probably get you lots of eye-rolling and “no-thank-you’s.” It’s easier and more appealing to start out with some new approaches to nutrition and physical activity that the whole family is really willing to try. For example, take a walk after dinner a couple of nights a week instead of turning on the TV. And, instead of chocolate cake with frosting, enjoy sliced strawberries over angel food cake.

Source: We Can! Families Finding the Balance, U.S. Dept. of Health & Human Services

Weight problems and obesity in children tip 2: Encourage healthy eating habits

Begin eating right today, as a family. Remember the importance of role modeling: there should be emphasis on what you do so that your child can follow. It is crucial to get the whole family in on the idea of eating healthily at home and away.

Making healthier food choices

Helping your child beat obesity begins with helping him or her forge a healthy relationship with food. You may need to make major changes to your eating lifestyle.

• Eat the rainbow. Serve and encourage consumption of a wide variety of fruits and vegetables. This should include red (beets, tomatoes), orange (carrots, squash), yellow (potatoes, bananas), green (lettuce, broccoli) and so on—just like eating a rainbow.
• Make breakfast a priority. Children who eat breakfast are less likely to be overweight or obese than those who skip the first meal of the day. It’s important to focus on healthy choices, though, like oatmeal, fresh fruit, whole grain cereal high in fiber and low in sugar, and low-fat milk instead of sugary cereals, donuts, or toaster pastries.
• Look for hidden sugar. Reducing the amount of candy and desserts you and your child eat is only part of the battle since sugar is also hidden in foods as diverse as bread, canned soups and vegetables, pasta sauce, margarine, instant mashed potatoes, frozen dinners, low-fat meals, fast food, and ketchup. Your body gets all it needs from sugar naturally occurring in food—so anything added amounts to nothing but a lot of empty calories. Check labels and opt for low sugar products and use fresh or frozen ingredients instead of canned goods.
• Schedule regular meal times. The majority of children like routine. If your kids know they will only get food at certain times, they will be more likely to eat what they get when they get it.
• Limit dining out. If you must eat out, avoid fast food if you can and make the healthy choices you are trying to make at home.

Weight problems and obesity in children tip 3: Don't go no fat, go good fat

For years, nutritionists have preached that a low-fat diet is the key to managing weight and preventing health problems in kids and adults alike. But not all fats contribute to weight gain. So instead of trying to cut out fat from your child’s diet, focus on replacing unhealthy fats with healthy fats.

Avoid trans fats

French fries and other fried foods may contain artificial trans fats that are dangerous to your child’s health. Fast food, packaged food, baked goods, sweets, and anything fried in vegetable oil often contain trans fat, even if the packaging claims it’s “trans fat-free.” Try to eliminate or cut back on:

• Commercially-baked goods (cookies, crackers, cakes, muffins, pie crusts, pizza dough, breads like hamburger buns)
• Packaged snack foods (crackers, microwave popcorn, chips, candy)
• Solid fats (stick margarine, vegetable shortening)
• Fried foods (French fries, fried chicken, chicken nuggets, breaded fish, hard taco shells)
• Pre-mixed products (cake mix, pancake, chocolate milk)
• Anything with “partially hydrogenated” oil listed in the ingredients

Add more healthy fats

Eating foods rich in monounsaturated and polyunsaturated fat is an important part of a healthy diet and can help a child control blood sugar and avoid diabetes. These “good” fats include:

• Avocados
• Olives
• Olive oil
• Nuts such as almonds, peanuts, macadamia nuts, hazelnuts, pecans, cashews, and walnuts
• Fatty fish such as salmon, tuna, mackerel, herring, trout, sardines, or sablefish
• Non-GMO sources of soy and tofu
• Brussels sprouts, kale, spinach
• Sunflower, sesame, and pumpkin seeds
• Flaxseed

Unsaturated oils

When cooking for you and your child, choose your oils carefully. Cold-pressed oils such as extra virgin olive oil, sesame oil and peanut oil are rich in healthy fats. The same may not be true of modern processed oils such as soybean oil, sunflower oil, corn oil, canola oil, cottonseed oil, safflower oil and vegetable oil. These oils are industrially manufactured—usually from genetically modified crops in the U.S.—using high heat and toxic solvents to extract the oil from the seeds. Many experts recommend sticking to cold-pressed oils or using butter or ghee (clarified butter) for cooking and baking.

Choose saturated fats wisely

Not all saturated fat is the same. The saturated fat in whole milk, coconut oil, or salmon is different to the saturated fat found in pizza, French fries, and processed meat products (such as ham, sausage, hot dogs, salami, and other cold cuts) which have been linked to heart disease and cancer.
Despite the saturated fat content, kids who eat whole-milk dairy products tend to have less body fat and lower levels of obesity than those who eat skim or non-fat dairy. This may be because the saturated fat in whole milk dairy makes kids feel fuller, faster, and keeps them feeling satisfied for longer, thus helping them to eat less overall. Adding a small amount of butter or olive oil to vegetables will not only improve the taste but can be far more satiating to kids.
To help your child make healthier choices, focus on the source of saturated fats consumed: A glass of whole milk or natural cheese rather than a hot dog, donut, or pastry, for example, grilled chicken or fish instead of fried chicken, or a 4 oz. portion of grass-fed beef rather than a burger and fries. Other tips to choosing saturated fat:

• Avoid saturated fat from processed meats, packaged meals, and takeout food.
• Don’t replace healthy sources of saturated fat with refined carbs or sugary snacks.
• Don’t eat just red meat (beef, pork, or lamb) but vary your child’s diet with chicken, eggs, fish, and vegetarian sources of protein.
• When you choose to serve red meat, look for "organic" and “grass-fed” to avoid antibiotics, growth hormones, and GMOs often found in industrially raised meat.
• Roast, grill, or slow cook meat and poultry instead of frying.
• Allow your child to enjoy full-fat dairy and choose organic milk, cheese, butter, and yoghurt whenever possible.
• Avoid breaded meats and vegetables and deep-fried foods.
• Avoid snack foods such as corn or potato chips.

 For more on good fats, bad fats, and the debate over saturated fat, see Choosing Healthy Fats.

Weight problems and obesity in children tip 4: Be smart about snacks and sweet food

Your home is where your child most likely eats the majority of his or her meals and snacks, so it is vital that your kitchen is stocked with healthy choices and treats.

• Don’t ban sweets entirely. While many kids' sugar consumption exceeds healthy limits, having a no sweets rule is an invitation for cravings and overindulging when given the chance. Instead, limit the amount of cookies, candies, and baked goods your child eats and introduce fruit-based snacks and desserts instead.
• Limit juice, soda, and coffee drinks. Soft drinks are loaded with sugar—“empty” calories that don’t do anything healthy for your child’s growing body. Shakes and coffee drinks can be just as bad. Many juices aren’t any better nutritionally, so encourage your child to eat a piece of fruit instead—kids love satsuma or tangerine oranges. Instead of soda, offer your child sparkling water with a twist of lime, fresh mint, or a splash of fruit juice.
• Keep snacks small. Don’t turn snacks into a meal. Limit them to 100 to 150 calories.
• Go for reduced-sugar options. When buying foods such as syrups, jellies, and sauces, opt for products labeled “reduced sugar” or “no added sugar.”
• Focus on fruit. Keep a bowl of fruit out for your children to snack on. Offer fruit as a sweet treat. Kid-friendly favorites include frozen juice bars, fruit smoothies, frozen bananas dipped in chocolate and nuts, strawberries and a dollop of whipped cream, fresh fruit added to plain yogurt, and sliced apples with peanut butter.
• Experiment with herbs and spices. Use sweet-tasting herbs and spices such as mint, cinnamon, allspice, or nutmeg to add sweetness to food without the empty calories.
• Check the sugar content of your kid’s cereal. There’s a huge disparity in the amount of added sugar between different brands of cereal, even those proclaiming to be whole grain or high in fiber. Some cereals are more than 50% sugar by weight. Try mixing a low sugar, high-fiber cereal with your child’s favorite sweetened cereal, or add fresh or dried fruit to oatmeal for a natural sweet taste.

Snacks at home
Snacks to stock up:	Snacks to cut back:
Fresh fruit and vegetables that can be taken on the go or packed in a lunch.	Soda, sweetened lemonade, fruit punch, and fruit juice with added sugar.
Whole milk and dairy products, including string cheese.	Hot dogs, fatty lunch meats, sausage, chicken nuggets.
Whole grain breads and cereals, pretzels, nuts, olives.	White bread, sugary breakfast cereals, chips.
Greek yogurt, frozen fruit juice bars, fig bars, ginger snaps.	Cookies, cakes, candy, ice cream, donuts.

Weight problems and obesity in children tip 5: Watch portion sizes

There are strategies you can employ to retrain you and your family’s appetites and avoid oversized servings when eating out.

• Learn what a regular portion size looks like. The portion sizes that you and your family are used to eating may be equal to two or three true servings. Limit portions to the size of your fist.
• Read food labels. Information about serving size and calories can be found on the backs of packaging. You may be surprised at how small the recommended portions are or how many calories are in the dish.
• Use smaller dishes. Portions will look bigger and you’ll eat less when you use small bowls or plates.
• Dish up in the kitchen. To minimize the temptation of second and third helpings, serve food on individual plates, instead of putting the serving dishes on the table.
• Divide food from large packages into smaller containers. The larger the package, the more people tend to eat without realizing it.
• Downsize orders. When eating out, share an entrée with your child or order an appetizer instead. Order half-orders or a medium size instead of a large.

Weight problems and obesity in children tip 6: Get your kid moving

Children who sit too much and move too little are at the highest risk for becoming overweight. Kids need an hour of exercise daily for optimum health. This may seem like a lot, but exercise doesn’t have to happen in a gym or all at once. Instead, try to incorporate movement into your family’s regular routine.

Exercise ideas for kids

It used to be commonplace to find children running around and playing in the streets of their neighborhoods, naturally expending energy and getting exercise. In today’s world, that’s not always an option. If you’re not comfortable letting your children roam free, you still have options for boosting their activity level.

• Play active indoor games. Put the remote away and organize some active indoor games. You can play tag (perhaps crawling tag, so that you keep messes to a minimum), hide-and-seek, or Simon Says (think jumping jacks and stretches).
• Try activity-based video games, such as those from Wii and Kinect which are played standing up and moving around—simulating dancing, skateboarding, soccer, bowling, or tennis. Once you child gains in confidence, get away from the screen and play the real thing outside. 
• Get active outside with your child. Take a walk together, bike around the neighborhood, explore a local park, visit a playground, or play in the yard. If it makes sense for your neighborhood and schedule, walk to and from activities and school.
• Do chores together. Perhaps it’s not your child’s first choice, but doing household chores is a very effective way to get exercise. Mopping, sweeping, taking out trash, dusting or vacuuming burns a surprising number of calories.
• Enroll children in after school sports or other activities. If your budget allows, sign children up to play a sport or get involved in an activity where they are physically active. The local YMCA, YWCA, or Boys’ and Girls’ Club are safe places for children to exercise and play.
• Sign up for a 5 or 10K walk/run with your child. Sometimes having a goal in mind can motivate even the most reluctant exercisers. Find a kid-friendly walk/run “race” in your area and tell your child you’ll be “training” for it together. Be sure to celebrate when you accomplish this feat.

Weight problems and obesity in children tip 7: Reduce screen time

The more time your children spend watching TV, playing video games, or using computers or mobile devices, the less time they’ll spend on active pastimes. Limits on television and computer time lead directly to your child spending more time being physically active. Remember how important it is for you to be a positive role model—yes, you may have to cut down on your own viewing habits—and have a good attitude about the change.

• Limit daily screen time. Studies show a link between screen time and obesity, so set limits on your child’s TV-watching, gaming, and web surfing. Experts recommend no more than two hours per day.
• Stop eating in front of the TV. Limit your child’s calorie intake by limiting time spent eating in front of the tube. Tell your child that, starting now, your family does all their eating at the table.
• Pick a different reward or punishment. Instead of rewarding your child with more time in front of the television or computer, promise something different, such as an outing or an activity of their choice. 

Encourage your child to develop new hobbies

Making major lifestyle changes has the potential to add more stress to a child’s life. At times, your overweight or obese child might feel singled out, sad, angry, embarrassed, or discouraged. In the past, they might have dealt with stress by eating or zoning out in front of the TV. Since this is no longer an option, help them find a healthy alternative. Ask your child what he or she might like to take up as a hobby. Hobbies can help kids boost their self-esteem, relieve stress, and provide a positive outlet.

Weight problems and obesity in children tip 8: Get involved

You can make a huge impact on your children’s health by being involved with the details of their lives.

• Talk to your children. Ask them about the school day, every day. Listen to their concerns and take action if there is something they need.
• Be in touch with teachers. Speak to your child’s teachers, especially P.E. instructors, either in person or on the phone.
• Defy busy schedules. You may feel like neither you nor your child has time for long chats about the day. This may be the toughest lifestyle change to make, due to busy schedules, but it can be done. If you need to, treat getting involved like another appointment or meeting in your day.
• Spend time with your children. You don’t have to spend all your time having heart-to-hearts. Playing, reading, cooking, or any other activity, when done together, can supply your child with the self-esteem boost he or she may need to make positive changes.

When to seek professional help for weight problems and obesity in children

There are no easy options when it comes to tackling childhood weight problems and obesity. Weight-loss surgery and medications are rarely recommended for children and adolescents. If you have changed your family’s eating and physical activity habits and your child has not reached a healthy weight, or if your doctor determines that your child’s health or emotional well-being is at risk because of his or her weight, you may want to consider a weight-control program.
Depending on your child's BMI, age, and health, your doctor may refer you to a registered dietitian, psychologist, and/or exercise physiologist for additional guidance on healthy eating, physical activity, and weight control. Again, any treatment program should address healthy eating and physical activity habits for your entire family.

More help for weight problems and obesity in children

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• Nutrition for Children and Teens: Easy Ways to Help Your Kids Eat Healthier
• Emotional Eating: How to Recognize and Stop Emotional Eating
• How to Start Exercising and Stick to It: Making Exercise an Enjoyable Part of Your Everyday Life
• Healthy Weight Loss and Dieting Tips: How to Lose Weight and Keep It Off

Cooking at home and eating out

• Eating Well on the Cheap: Saving Money on Healthy Food
• Healthy Fast Food: Tips for Making Healthier Fast Food Choices
• Choosing Healthy Fats: Good Fats, Bad Fats, and the Power of Omega-3s

Resources and references

General information about weight problems and obesity in children

Overweight and Obesity – Learn how to tell if your child is overweight, explore the causes and effects of childhood obesity, and find helpful tips for preventing weight problems. (KidsHealth)
We Can! Families Finding the Balance: A Parent Handbook (PDF) – Guide to tackling the problem of childhood obesity and making healthy changes for the whole family. (U.S. Dept. of Health & Human Services)
Helping Your Overweight Child – Parent’s guide to helping an obese or overweight child begin to eat better and be more active. (Weight-control Information Network, National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases)
Is Dieting Okay for Kids? – Discover why the majority of overweight kids should not diet, and find out healthier strategies for combating childhood obesity. (KidsHealth)

Weight problems and obesity in children: resources for parents

Be a Healthy Role Model for Children (PDF) – Ten tips for setting a good example for your child and preventing childhood overweight and obesity. (MyPyramid.gov)
Cut Back on Sweet Treats (PDF) – Ten tips for fighting childhood obesity and overweight by cutting back on added sugar. (MyPyramid.gov)
Talking to Kids About Weight – Advice for addressing the sensitive subject of weight and offering support to an overweight or obese child. (American Dietetic Association)
Healthy at Home – List of practical tips for creating a healthy environment at home and encouraging better habits in overweight or obese children. (Get Kids In Action)

Sugar and obesity in children

Sugary Drinks and Obesity Fact Sheet – How sugary drinks are a major contributor to the current obesity epidemic. (Harvard School of Public Health)
Sugar intake, diabetes and kids – Q&A with a pediatric obesity expert about the link between added sugar and childhood weight gain and diabetes problems. (Stanford Medicine)

BMI Calculators

BMI Calculator – Use this calculator for children and teens, aged 2 through 19 years old. (CDC)
Childhood Obesity Assessment Calculator – Tool that lets you calculate your child’s Body Mass Index (BMI). (Shape Up America)

What other readers are saying

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